October 17, 2014

Lake Last Hurrah

A few weekends back Chris and I took the girls to meet our families at Pickwick Lake for one last boat trip this year. Evie has really had a great time at the lake this year. I know we've got a bona fide lake lover there, and I hope in time that Emma will love the lake as much as the rest of her family! Even though we will spend some time in Pickwick over the Fall and Winter I am really looking forward to going back next Spring! We love the lake!
 
{Emma and me! She's really into blowing spit bubbles!}
 
 
{Boat naps, for the win!}

 
{Evie and Uncle William}

 
{Daddy and his girls!}

 
{Emma was NOT a fan of the cool lake water!}

 
{Sisters!}

 
{Always sad to come back into the no wake zone!}

 
{Leaves starting to change!}

 

September 26, 2014

The Knowing: On Being a Second Time Mom

Have you ever seen The Day After Tomorrow? That's what becoming a mother for the first time felt like to me, a tornado wrapped up in a monsoon inside of a hurricane. It was kind of like the Turduken of weather battering my mind and my heart.
 
It's so completely overwhelming your first time. You think you are prepared, after all the books you've read you could not be anything other than prepared, right? And all at once this tiny human explodes into the universe and rocks your world, in a way you realize instantly you could never be prepared for. The tiredness creeps in and you think to yourself, "I never knew it would be like this. Will I ever shower again? Will I ever eat a hot meal/poop or pee in peace/get more than two hours of consecutive sleep/sleep late/have sex with my husband/move off this couch again?" You start thinking of all the things that you'll do when the baby is older. Every first and milestone is anticipated. The baby slept through the night! The baby rolled over! The baby is eating every four hours instead of every damn minute!
 
Until one day you look over and that tiny newborn that you've never actually noticed growing is blowing out the candle on her first birthday cake and you think back to this day one year ago when everything shattered, got knocked down, rearranged and put back together in not quite the same way. You think back and wonder where did 365 days go? And you wish with every fiber of your being that you could have that newborn back just for an instant, to remember how her head smelled and how her body melted into yours when you rocked her to sleep in the middle of the night.
 
Then one day you have your second child and more gently than the first she changes your world. Motherhood is not new to you, sleepless nights are less of a shock, the double edged sword of confusion and love is dulled slightly and you know.
 
 
 
You know that tiny toes grow into stinky toddler feet. You know that the baby will, in fact, sleep through the night one day. You know that you will not always feel confined to the house, afraid to leave lest your bundle of poop and joy squall at the top of her lungs in the middle of the cereal aisle in Kroger. You know that the newborn sleeping peacefully on your chest will eventually roll her eyes at you and say, "whatever, mom". You know of the succession of baby crap that slowly makes its way into the attic. First go the newborn clothes, then the bumbo seat, followed by the 0-3 month clothes and the baby bathtub until one day it's all gone and your baby is sleeping in a full sized bed. You know the ache that follows the pride when your child crawls for the first time, walks and talks for the first time.
 
The knowing causes you to savor your second child more than your first, love more, surely not, but savor, oh yes. You'll hold her longer because you know how short that time is. You won't worry about rocking your child to sleep because you know that has no bearing on her ability to sleep. You refuse beat yourself up over how you choose to feed your baby and how other people view it because you know it really doesn't matter. You won't love being up for midnight feedings, but they won't be as bad because you know how you creep into your babies' rooms to stare at them in their quiet sleep once they start sleeping all night. And even though it baffles you completely you know that you will want these overwhelmingly hard days back. You know, the same way the blue haired lady knew when she stopped you to tell you the day your baby was squalling in the middle of the cereal aisle in Kroger.
 
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September 19, 2014

New Directions

I stopped blogging for awhile. A long while.
 
Truth be told I was overwhelmed.
 
I was overwhelmed by all the crazy things going on in my life. Selling our first home, building a new house, new baby on the way, moving so many times, closing on the new house being pushed back, worrying about how Evie would adjust to a new home and a new baby, the list was endless.
 
Honestly, I didn't really have time to stop and think about what I wanted to be doing here.
 
Then came the baby and the inevitable crashing calm after a veritable storm of life events and with it the ability to really miss what I was doing here and to think about where I wanted to go with my tiny little piece of the interwebs. I knew I was not ready to give it up, after all I've been cultivating it for four years, but I also knew the direction I was heading in before was not the direction I wanted to go in.
 
Truth be told, I never aspired to be a review blogger. I don't want to debate (internally or externally) whether or not I'm selling myself short by doing a review of a product but not requiring to be paid. I want to be able to write about my family and share them with others and maybe pick up a few friends along the way. I've made some of my closest friends since I started up shop here, beautiful bright women who've picked me up and held me close when I needed it. Most of all I want to be able to look back and remember the times my daughters were funny, the times I questioned my sanity and the times I felt like I might burst from love of a man and the two girls we made together. Maybe I might occasionally throw in a recipe for that weeknight chicken that was toddler and husband approved. I might even help a friend launch a new business or do a review or giveaway here and there, but most of all I want this place to be what I started it out to be.
 
So I'm going a new direction, or rather I'm going an old direction starting from a different place. Welcome to Vol Family Life, the newest chapter in our story.
 
 
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