November 11, 2010

Wake Up Call!

On Tuesday night (really early early Wednesday morning) I received my first wake up call from Evie (multiple trips to the bathroom notwithstanding, of course). I was laying on my back and she went nuts kicking me until I literally woke up and made some strange night of the living dead type noises and rolled over. She almost instantly stopped. This first time it was pretty cool -- I imagine it will grow more annoying.

Annoying or not, the point is -- I'm already starting to learn her personality. I promise you this will be a willful, stubborn and independent child. She's already pretty sure of what she wants; and she's not afraid to kick me to get it either. She wants me to stop leaning over (I guess I'm squishing her?) and pow pow pow - a rapid succession of punches and kicks. K -- got it. I'll sit up straight from now on. Sheesh. She really doesn't appreciate all the movement that comes with housework, especially making the bed. She just wants to float I guess (can't say I blame her -- at this point some time to just float sounds pretty darn good).

Evie also has a strange effect on my dogs. Reily and Peyton seem somewhat ambivalent to her, but Rocky and Maggie have reacted in very sweet and sometimes annoying ways, especially Rocky. Maggie used to sleep up near my head, but now so prefers to sleep next to my belly with her ear tucked up to it. Oddly enough, Evie likes it when I sleep facing Maggie. I wonder if Evie can hear Maggie. Rocky on the other hand follows me around like I might drop dead at any minute and he's gonna morph into Lassie and save the day. If I take a bath and don't take him in the bathroom with me, he sits outside the door. If I'm at the kitchen table he's at my feet. If I'm on the couch he's laying with his head on my belly (I'm pretty sure he's listening to the baby). Half the time he sleeps on the floor beside me. He trails after me down the hall. It's nuts. My child is the dog whisperer! I can't wait for the day she kicks while Rocky's head is laying on my belly and he feels it!

Yesterday, due to some slight bleeding and what they think might have been braxton-hicks contractions (Daddy, calm down, we're cool ) I had to have an unscheduled ultrasound. I knew (of course) that everything was fine with my little Poppy. She'd been jumping around like a jumping bean all hopped up on espresso all morning, but anytime you want to give me a look at my baby -- I'm ALL OVER IT. Plus they had to check the placenta (google placenta previa -- I've got a partial) and make sure it was still good (which it was, of course). It appeared that Evie was trying to take a nap -- well of course the tech would have none of that -- she poked and prodded until she got her moving again. At a few points, while the tech was prodding her to move around, you could see my child rear back and KICK me with all she had in her little three inch long legs. See, she's willful. I just knew she was thinking "leave me the hell alone. I'm tired. I've been kicking and swishing around in here all morning and I want a nap!".  It was crazy to both see and feel it happen. I just started laughing. It was incredible. I also got to see her suck her little thumb, practice breathing and cover her eyes with her hand when the tech started messing with her. Pretty fun, and I just thought -- wow, did anyone ever tell me you could love this much? Where does it come from? I've never met her, held her, smelled her, heard her cry or even seen her eyes and already it's huge and all encompassing.

And she's mine. All mine. She belongs solely to me for 132 more days. Yes, I know she has a father and grandparents and myriad of other relatives. But for now she's all mine. And I love that. For now she relies on me for everything and that is special. I don't know how Freud came up with an idea like "penis envy" when women get to carry their babies. I wouldn't trade this for anything -- much less a penis.

Evie wakes me up to something new almost every day. She amazes me with her new abilities be it to kick me awake in the middle of the night, induce Rocky to follow me around like I'm a snake charmer or cause unexpected bursts of joy and love. Today I just really can't wait to meet my daughter.