February 4, 2011

The Green Monster


I know THREE people who have had their babies in the past FOUR days.

I am so jealous.

I KNOW it is not time for her to come yet, all of these people are very close to their due dates and were at least 37 weeks along.

BUT STILL. I am jealous. I am sick of having her in the belly -- I am ready to meet her.

At this point, it's not about how much I am sick of being pregnant (because believe I am). That part is not so bad. It is about feeling anxious and incomplete in way that I know only having her will fix. I'm ready to hold her and nurse her and change her and stay up all night with her and I'm just ready to BE HER MOM!

I know I know, everyone says to Enjoy this last little bit of time to yourself. But here is the thing, I don't have time to myself, I haven't had time to myself since about July 16th. And especially now, my thoughts are constantly preoccupied with Evie, when is she going to come, what will she look like, will she love me, will she love her Daddy, what if she doesn't want to eat, is she going to be healthy and ON AND ON. I can't enjoy anything in this state.

Truly if I had one wish right now, I would wish to fast forward until labor starts. Totally selfish, but I don't care. Screw world peace and everything else.

I am so ready to meet my little girl.