November 30, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: White Death November 2011

In the area where I live we lovingly refer to snow as "White Death". This is mainly because people freak out at the mere mention of snow and ice. As soon as the forcast even mentions the possibility of snow/ice/wintry mix the shelves of Kroger and Wal-Mart are immediately stripped of bread and milk. Usually the bottled water is gone too. It's seriously amazing to watch. I have no idea why, but it's a requirement. If winter weather is an eensy possibility you must make the sojurn to the store to stock up on those items. I scoff at the idea mostly, but I'm not gonna lie, if I am at the grocery or even a convenience store and the weather people have been saying we are getting ice or snow I pick up an extra gallon of milk. Or tequila. (Just kidding. I don't know why I mention tequila so much. I don't even drink it. Blech.) Today I present you with White Death November 2011!

{Linking up with Jenni From the Blog}

November 29, 2011

One and Done?

It's a stance a lot of people take on having children. One baby. It was a stance I never thought I would take, but lately I find myself leaning towards that side of the fence. I find myself asking what could be better than this little girl right here? I'm not convinced that anything could be, so why mess with perfection?

Then I start to think how I would love another girl. Even though I really wanted a boy I have come to discover that I love being the mom of a little girl more than I loved the idea of being a mom to a little boy. I love the thought of two little girls playing dress up together, playing outside together, gossiping together in high school, and being the maid of honor in the other's wedding. Then, I think about how much I loved having a little brother growing up, how much fun we had playing in the yard, making up adventures and how much fun we have now as adults and I really want a little boy to call my son and a younger brother for Evie.

Just as quickly as those thoughts come, they are replaced by a feeling of completion in our family. Chris, Evie and me: a perfect trio. I think of all the fun we will have while she grows up: taking swimming lessons, building sandcastles, going to Europe, traveling to the beach, riding rides at Disney World. It's a perfect life, and for as permanent as the silhouette(s) of our future child(ren) seemed in those visions a few months ago, I see them fading now leaving only the three of us standing with Mickey or covered in sand and salt water with sunburned noses, complete, happy and whole.

I guess only time will tell, but for now our family feels complete; so I am throwing the "x number of months after Evie is born we will try for a second" plan out the window, telling myself that this is (obviously) a decision that doesn't have to be made today (or anytime in the near future) and enjoying what I've got, right here, right now.

November 28, 2011

I'm Baaaaack!

Whew! What a nice long break from the internet. I needed it!

These past four days have been nice -- eating lots of Turkey, laying around with the hubby and Evie Bug and spending time with family!

I DID NOT go Black Friday shopping. I cannot fathom fighting the crowds, and the nut-jobs with out wanting to punch somebody in the face. I worked in retail for seven freaking years. That is SEVEN Black Fridays. Seven "Holiday" seasons. Seven years of crazy mothers fighting over the last damn glitter vest for their little princess who just has to have it. I worked at Limited Too (the HORRORS of the blue carpet) and most of the time if I worked closing I didn't get home until mid-night or later. Most of our shoppers didn't have a clue about being courteous to people at all and would turn their ill-behaved heathen spawn loose in our store with $20 while they went off to Macy's.

If you are the proud owner of ill-behaved heathen spawn, here is a tip: Don't turn her loose in Limited Too (now known as Justice) because you might end up dead from all the death looks. Not that any of my readers have heathen spawn, of course.

So yeah. The whole idea of Black Friday and the Holiday retail season makes me a bit stabby. I can't stand the rampant consumerism the day after we've just sat around talking about how good we already have it. I do my best to stay the heck away from the following stores from the day after Thanksgiving until about the beginning of January: target, Wal-Mart, Macy's, Dilliard's ANYWHERE in or around the mall! The crazy people trying to score the best deals ever on the day after Christmas sales annoy me too.

Anyway, that is my rant on Black Friday. And for the record I am not talking about the perfectly sane people who go out and calmly score a good deal, or the ones who plan and enjoy it as a tradition with their families. While that is not for me, I think it sounds kind of nice. I just mean the crazies with pepper spray and guns who go ballistic over a set of sheets the day after they've all talked about how grateful they are. It's borderline sociopathic.

Shew. I feel better after getting that off my chest! :) Thanks for listening.

Saturday we took family pictures for our Christmas card and to make up for my rant I am going to share one of my favorites! I am normally behind the camera so it's nice for me to have a nice picture of Evie and I!

November 24, 2011

Thankful Thanksgiving Thursday


Today the things I am most thankful for are my daughter and my husband. I am thankful of course for my whole family, but my world revolves around these two people. I am incredibly and immeasurably grateful for their existence and that God chose to stick them in my path and in my life.

I am very very richly blessed.

November 23, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: Rock Star Baby

I would also like to point out that this was taken last week when Evie was running fever around 103-104F. She's a champ!

November 22, 2011

Eight Months: You Are Mine

Dearest Evie,

You are eight months old today. I think back and scoff at the girl who said her four month old was growing too fast. Her eight month old is growing even faster.

You have made leaps this month sweet heart. You are more mobile than ever, and always crawling around, faster that I thought you would. You grew two teeth. You say dada all the time and I think you are starting to learn what it means. Now let's work on Momma. You only say that if you are really upset, and you more wail it out.

But I don't want to talk about that now. While other mothers anticipate each new thing their child learns, I dread them all, because they mean you are growing up. Now, most of the time you don't care to be rocked to sleep. Sometimes when you do let me rock you and you fall asleep I'll sit and rock you and rock you until I know, if I don't put you the both of us to bed I am going to be miserably tired in the morning. My heart simply cannot get its fill of you.

Right now I want you to know that you are mine and I am yours forever. Forever and ever. I will always carry you with me, in my heart, in my gut, in the bone and sinew that make up my body, in my thoughts and in my very breathing. That is the way it is with a mother and a child, two souls forever entwined; to make you, God had to take a piece of me. You will know this love one day.

I gave your Nana a platter when I was in college. I bought it on a whim one Spring day while walking the Pearl Street Mall. It says, "Home is Where the Mom Is". I love that saying, but I only recently understood that it still means the same thing as "Home is Where the Heart is". Your heart will always go with me, and my heart will always go with you. You can always find home in my heart baby girl. Always and always.

I love you more and more every single day. You stretch my heart to new limits.

forever and ever,


November 21, 2011

Blogger Awards!

I feel so blessed to have been awarded the Versatile Blogger award a few times and now Mommy Bags has been kind enough to award me the Kreativ Blogger Award! Please take a minute to go check out her blog. It is seriously hilarious. She is my daily dose of laughter!

Now I am to list a few (seven, actually) things about me and pass this award on to ten other bloggers! So without further ado...

1) When I was little I wanted to be a marine biologist. I mean when I was about seven people would ask me what do you want to be when you grow up? I would say, marine biologist. That dream got shattered when I became afraid of dark water at some point. 

2) I was a competitve swimmer. I am also terrified of pool drains. Go figure.

3) I am 4'11" tall. I used to refuse to date boys less than 6'0" tall. Funnily enough my hubby is about 5'9" and I still love him best.

4) I never ever trust a blinker.

5) I cook very well, and I am an excellent baker. Creating in the kitchen is one of my favorite "relaxing" activities. I mean not to toot my own horn, but "toot toot".

6) I am Methodist, but went to a Roman Catholic school for 13 years. I refer to myself as Metholic a strange combo of the two. For instance, I don't believe in transubstantiation but when I pray I prefer to pray the rosary than to pray freely. My mother and brother are also Metholics.

7) I have never watched A Christmas Story from start to finish. I've also never seen Jurassic Park (any of them).

Now I would like to pass this award on to some wonderful bloggers!

1) Confessions of a Magnolia Mom because even though Erin is a BAMA fan, we still have a ton in common and have managed to make it past our fundamental SEC football rivalary differences.

2) It's the Middle that Counts because Amber has a big giving heart and even when she has a lot on her plate (military wife and mommy to sweet Nicholas and student AND scentsy consultant) she still finds time to open her heart.

3) Leilaland because Jen's daughter Leila is so super cute and I love reading about all the fun stuff she's doing as a toddler! Makes me excited to experience Evie's toddler hood. Plus, Leila's momma is super nice!

4) Nurse Loves Farmer because Sarah has an awesome name, and she tells it like it is. Plus I'm pretty sure she got the other part of my height! She also has some great info on her blog about cloth diapering!

5) Our Pregnancy Road Trip and Beyond because her little Blake is a living doll and she's a full time working mommy trying to figure it out, just like me!

6) Tales of Twol Girls  because bar none Tessa is one of the most supportive caring mommy bloggers I've met. If she knows somethings up with me or Evie she always goes out of her way to tweet me or message me to ask how we are doing or wish us well. She is always doing something fun with her girls Kendall and Sydney!

7) The Southern Mommy Chronicles because Lacey is a doll, with a lot of sass. And because I am excited to "meet" baby vera!

8) Mommy in the Midwest because ~C~'s smile is infectious even over the internet, not to mention she is mommy to two of the cutest little boys I've seen!

9) Building Our Story simply put Censie (pronounced Kenzie) is a genuine open person with one seriously handsome little man (go check out her pics of Jude dressing up in his daddy's clothes. PRECIOUS!) I'm also insanely jealous that she lives in Colorful Colorado.

10) For Love of Cupcakes I love Jamie's openess and willingness to talk with anyone and help out and I love the stories of her adventures in parenting her little girl who she calls Cupcakes. 

Check out these wonderful blogs when you get a chance; you won't be sorry!

November 18, 2011

I Usedta Could

Maybe this is a Southern thing like "fixin' to" (about to) or "ya'ant to?" (you want to?) but we say "usedta could" which means at one point I could do this, but now I am no longer able. Way faster to say usedta could.

Me? I usedta could dance.

I was a competitive cheerleader for years. By the time I was at the end of my freshman year I was already a front row, point of the pyramid regular and stayed there until I graduated. We did all sorts of crazy dance stuff. We shook our booties in our short skirts and we were good at it. Often at cheer camps and clinics we were told how awesome our squad was at dance. I was a teeny tiny 108lbs with a gymnast's build. I had quads like rocks and a nice booty to boot (haha, booty to boot).

This past Tuesday I learned that I can no longer dance. My quads and booty are more like marshmallows than rocks, and sadly, poppin' and locking can no longer be listed on my resume. Droppin' it like it's hot? No longer my forte. Gone are my highschool days of dance and my days as a carefree sorority girl shakin' what my momma gave me on the dance floor.

I discovered this as I sat on the floor in front of Evie's bouncer. It all started when she was a little fussy and I started bobbing my head back and forth. She seemed intrigued. At this point I thought, "I bet I look like a chicken pecking for seeds" and began making Bok! Buk! Bok! chicken sounds. This brought a slight smile to Evie's face. At this point I decided to take it a step further and tuck my hands in my armpits and flap my wings (all while "pecking" and making the "BOK!" noise). This brought out a squeal of glee and she started hopping around in her bouncer. At this point I threw all pride out the window, stood up and began shaking my booty all around while flapping, pecking and bocking.

Evie cracked up. I mean y'all that baby lost her mind in hilarity. It wasn't long before I was singing a song "Oh look Momma's a chicken! She's so funny! Evie thinks momma's funny!" in between all the pecking, bocking, flapping and booty shaking.

I shudder to imagine what the neighbors must've thought if they saw me dancing around like a chicken in my living room and singing crazy songs. However, I'd've done it all day if it meant keeping my sweet sick little girl happy. Neighbors be damned.

You know what? Chicken dancing with Evie > Shakin' it on the dance floor. And you can take that to the bank.

Come link up and share your laughs from with week with Melissa at The Mommyhood Chronicles!


Y3W: Starbucks Peppermint Mocha

It's almost Thanksgiving, which means consumer-driven-gotta-have-it-now America has already gone Christmas CRAZY! Something I may or may not participate in by listening to Josh Groban's Christmas Album starting oh, about two weeks ago. Speaking of which I am so excited to get the Michael Buble and GLEE albums!!! Squeee! I love Christmas!

Anyway, now that my freak out is over I'd like to talk to you about my biggest guilty pleasure.

Three Words: Starbucks. Peppermint. Mocha.

I discovered this little treat, oh round about 2004, and ever since I've longed for them all year long. I dream of them through the doldrums of January, the rains of March, the bitter heat of July and August, and the pumpkin craze of October. Every November they arrive and I make myself wait. I wait until December 1 for my first Peppermint Mocha. I do this for two reasons: 1) Antcipation is half the fun. 2) Starbucks is freakin' expensive and when I was in college "the elves" would conveniently show up in December and leave a Starbucks gift card by my stocking and I would ration that thing out for as many Peppermint Mochas as I could get. It just became habit.

As an aside, since I got married and moved into my own home "the elves" no longer visit me. They must not visit married people. I wonder if they'll come back now that we have Evie. Or maybe I should've left a forwrading address.

Now on Tuesday I was particularly stressed. If you follow me on Twitter, you know how sick Evie has been and how upset I have been. So on the way to the pediatrician's office (yet again) I stopped at McDonald's for a coke. When I got to the speaker I saw they had a Peppermint Mocha and I thought, "What the hey, I'm stressed, tired and in need of a little pick-me-up! I'll break the rules just this once!" and placed my order for a medium Peppermint Mocha. "That'll be $3.15", said the attendant, "please drive around!"

And I was flabbergasted. $3.15??? For a cup of joe from Mickey Dees? Methinks they are getting too big for their britches.

The real issue: I've been freaking craving peppermint mocha for two days now and it's only the 17th. Thirteen more days to go!

{Do you have a favorite Christmastime treat? What is it?}

November 17, 2011

Early Christmas Cheer

Thanks to Sarah at Nurse Loves Farmer for posting these fun Christmas Questions to get us in the Christmas spirit!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Starbucks Hot Chocolate! Yum!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa never wrapped my presents but he wrapped Christopher's. I guess we will just wait and see what he does for Evie!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White! I do red, gold and green as my Christmas colors. I am very traditional this way. Don't even get me started on Snowmen. My hatred for them is unnatural and genetic.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Only if hubby is around. Or maybe in Evie's room; I could always use another reason to kiss those adorable cheeks! But no, because I think the fake stuff looks weird and the real stuff could kill our cats. We also don't put out poinsettias!

5. When do you put your decorations up? Sometime after Thanksgiving!

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Roast Beef! My Grandma (Evie's namesake) always served roast beef for Christmas. When my mom and dad got married she continued the tradition for him. I'll continue it as well!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? William and I making our "Christmas Morning Plans". We would plot out and draw maps on how whoever woke up first would sneak into the other's room to wake him or her up. They got more elaborate as we got older. When we lived in Germantown they involved utlizing the secret passageway between our rooms, even though we had Jack-n-Jill style bathrooms.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? What do you mean the truth about Santa? You must be referring to the fact that I wanted to marry him when I was little and discovered he already had a wife!

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Only the one, which is always new Christmas PJs! Except last year when I was hugely preggo and they had to be ordered and shipped late. I got them a few days after Christmas!

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Lots of red and gold balls and ornaments plus a lot of personal ones! We have a 9 ft pre-lit with white lights!

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? As long as I can stay at home, I love it! Try to make m drive in it (even though I have plenty of snow -not ice- driving experience thanks to CO) and I will curse your name vehemently!

12. Can you ice skate? Yes! I can!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Yes! When I was 20 Santa brought me a big bag full of puppy stuff and a coupon for a new puppy! That is when I got Maggie!

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Family and the friends we call family.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Hmmm. It'd have to be grassroots fudge pie!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Candle Light Christmas Eve service and dinner at Macaronni Grille after.

17. What tops your tree? A star right now, but I'd like to find an angel like I grew up with!

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Both please!

19. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? Yummy!

20. Favorite Christmas show? Elf! I love it! That and Santa Claus: The Movie! Oh, and The Grinch (the newer one)!

21. Saddest Christmas Song? Silent Night

22. What is your favorite Christmas song? Ave Maria sung by Josh Groban or Silent Night. I tend to gravitate towards the more religious Christmas songs. I could name 1,000! And yes I know Ave Maria is not technically a traditional Christmas song, but it is on Josh Groban's album and I love it!

Also, please note, I totally respect "The Bird" I am just extra excited for Christmas this year since it'll be Evie's first one!

Fill out your own, link back and have fun! :)

Thankful Thursday

With the past few weeks we have had, today I am extra grateful for our family that we have nearby. They have been a huge blessing to us with keeping Evie during the first few days as I recovered from surgery, bringing me different things I can eat and this week helping keep Evie during the day so that Chris and I can continue to work even though she cannot go to daycare. I don;t know what we would do without them and I say that in all seriousness. I think I have the best family around and grateful does not begin to describe how I feel; it is not a big enough word.

Our First Family Photo the Day Chris Asked Me to Marry Him!

Our First Family Photo on Our Wedding Day!

{Photo Courtesy of Bentley-Evans Photography my MIL's photography business! Lots of our Wedding Day Pics on there!}

I am also very grateful for Censie from Building Our Story and Tessa from Tales of Two Girls for awarding me the Versatile Blogger Award  again! These are two very sweet women with adorable kiddos (as an aside I also pay lots of money for hair the color of Tessa's girls' and Censie's Jude's. It is so pretty! ). Check them out and if you don't already follow them -- you will enjoy their posts! Thank you again Censie and Tessa!!!

November 16, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: Happy Tail Edition 4.0

After last week's unscheduled detour we are back for our final Happy Tails edition of Wordless Wednesday!

You can meet Maggie here, Rocky and Reily here and Peyton here!

Today I'd like to introduce you to the members of our feline contingent!

Meet Mollie Jinx (MJ) and Lucky Cat!
{lucky is very camera shy, so I don't have good pictures of her :(}

MJ is our first cat. We got her in the Fall before we were married. We knew we wanted a cat but planned on waiting until after the I Dos to pick our kitty. In October of 2008 we were wandering around PetSmart and walked past the place where they keep the kitties available for adoption. One kitten caught our eye immediately. She was a beautiful cat and super playful! She had been found huddled under a car tire on a cold rainy night at the FedEx Super Hub and had been in foster care ever since. I went home and immediately filled out the adoption form. It was no surprise that we were approved to adopt and the following Friday we went and met her for the first time. We had a lot of fun and she was super playful. We decided to be her new kitty mom and dad and give her a home. We named her MJ and brought her home that night.

MJ is about three now and has quite an attitude. If you walk too near her she will reproach you with a loud MEOW. She likes to cuddle, but only on her terms. She also can jump from my counters to the top of my cabinets effortlessly where she stares at the rest of us in judgement. She plays with Peyton and loves to snuggle with Rocky Top. She also likes to groom him. MJ is stinky sometimes and very sassy, but she is a lot of fun! She loves to play games, especially with her laser pointer!

Lucky Cat is an all black cat with a very special story. She was found by Bruce who is the pastor at our good friends' Stephen and Libba's church. Libba is also a veterinarian. When Bruce found her she was in the cold limping around the parking lot of the VFW. He brought her to Libba. Lucky would put no weight on her back left leg and Bruce said if Libba could find her a home he would pay for the amputation that would be necessary.

I don't know why I went with Libba to the clinic that night, but I did and I saw Lucky and my sappy preggo heart fell in love. She purred like crazy as soon as you looked at her. I convinced Chris we needed her and that she needed us! We would name our black three legged cat "Lucky". So clever. (Not that clever). The day that Libba was set to amputate her leg, she looked in the cage and Lucky was miraculously putting a tiny bit of weight. Libba decided to hold off and do a little physical therapy before amputation. Two weeks later our four legged Lucky Cat came home. Other than nerve damage in her tail (she can't feel anything -- you can literally step on it and she won't notice which is how I found out) she made a full recovery and has learned to leap from counter to cabinet top just like MJ.

Lucky loves to snuggle. She is the cat that won't get out of your lap, off your computer or vacate your shoulders. She especially loves to snuggle with Rocky Top. She also likes to be carried around and get her belly rubbed. She is a very quiet cat yet still very playful. Chasing MJ is one of her favorite things to do!

I hope you have enjoyed meeting all of our FurBabies! We love them all very much!

November 14, 2011

People I Want to Punch

Ok, so I'm normally pretty like, diplomatic, I guess is the word. I try not to judge people, and I try to put myself in their shoes for the most part. I try not to piss people off. I'm pretty moderate and when people are losing their minds over stuff I try to be reasonable.

Not on this one. I will not be reasoned with. There is NO excuse for this.

Thursday when I picked Evie up from daycare I was informed that a kid in her class has RSV and another has hand/foot/mouth disease.

They came on quick. The little one with HFM came in with fever on Wednesday and only a few spots.

That's right. Fever. And spots. And this child's mother sent him or her to school.


Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but the fever should have been enough to cause this woman to employ what is obviously the last of her working brain cells and keep her kid home from school.

However, because of her inability to use deductive reasoning, my beautiful baby is now very sick.

Evie ran very high fever all weekend long. I took her to the doctor but they won't do anything, even the mouthwash is out due to her age.

She is miserable. She sobs big sobs and huge crocodile tears run down her sweet little cheeks. Her tears soak huge wet spots in my shirts and she moans dada dada dada with something that sounds like an occasional Maaaamaa thrown in there.

Everytime I have to try and do whatever I can to soothe my inconsolable baby and see the apparent pain and distress she is in, rage rises up in me like lava and despair over my child's pain swamps my heart.

Evie can't go back to school for 1-2 weeks (per the doctor). This woman has now cost me the copay at our doctor's appointment,  at least one week's worth of daycare that we still have to pay to keep Evie's spot as well as the time off work that I have to take unpaid.

So now I feel like a crappy mom, crappy employee and crappy co-worker.

I am thisclose to quitting my job with no notice to be with Evie.

On the top of my List of People I Want to Punch is this woman who I can only assume knowingly brought her child to school sick, or maybe she's not smart enough to know that fever and spots = sick. Neither is an excuse as far as I am concerned.

Seriously, seeing your child bawl in pain is the worst thing in the whole world, especially when you know there is nothing you can do to take the pain away.

November 11, 2011

Y3W: Deeper In Love

Do you ever have moments when you just look at your family and just fall more in love?

This morning it was freezing outside and I awoke snuggled up to my hubby under a pile of snoring puppy dogs. There was frost on the ground, shiny in the early morning sun. It was beautiful and punctuated with happy dog barks, their breath lingering like little clouds in the chilly air.

After we got ready I fed the dogs and drifting from down the hall were peals of  delighted baby laughter from Evie as her Daddy blew raspberries on her belly instead of getting her dressed like he was supposed to.

I love watching him be such an amazing father to our little girl.

And in that moment my heart that I would have sworn was so full of love, light and laughter that it would  shatter if more joy was tipped into it, simply swelled, and I fell deeper in love. I fell deeper in love with the amazing man that is my husband and deeper in love with the amazing child God blessed us with.

Thank You Lord. How could I ask for more?

November 10, 2011

Thankful Thursday

Since this is the month of Thanksgiving here in the US and because I have so very much to be thankful for, I'm dedicating this month's Thursdays to being thankful. Sorry last Thursday got skipped; I was allllll in a tizzy.

I've spent A LOT of time complaining this past week about my stupid wisdom teeth. I've complained about the anxiety (which is real and scary and not to be discounted) and the procedure as well as the PITA recovery.

So for my Thankful Thursday this week I am going to stick with that.

1) Instead of complaining that I can't chew and that I NEED TO BITE INTO SOMETHING NOW FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY, I am choosing to be thankful that I am blessed enough to have all the soft options I do. A fresh fruit smoothie, mac-n-cheese and mashed potatoes would be considered a feast in The Horn of Africa and I am ashamed of how bitterly I have complained about the few food choices I have. I am blessed and grateful.

2) Instead of bemoaning all the time lost with my daughter I am choosing to be thankful that my parents and my in-laws live close enough to help us whenever we need them to. So many people have deployed spouses, deceased spouses and/or live far away from friends and family and would have no support in this situation. I am eternally grateful for the presence and support of our parents. I am blessed and grateful.

3) Instead of complaining about the pain, swelling and recovery I am choosing to be grateful for the fact that A) I live in a country where good dental care is readily available and that I don't have to wait months for a surgery and B) that my husband works for a wonderful stable company that offers excellent benefits including dental insurance. I am blessed and grateful.

4) Instead of fussing at my husband for not taking care of me the way I want to be taken care of I am choosing to be grateful that I have a spouse who is loving and caring and does his very best for me and our daughter on a daily basis. I am blessed and grateful.

I believe that we can choose our attitude and today, I am choosing an attitude of gratitude (thanks for the saying mom). I am truly blessed.

{Plus. How could I not be grateful for this beautiful babe? She's amazing.}

November 9, 2011

"Wordless" Whatever Wednesday: So, How'd It Go?

I interrupt your regularly scheduled Wordless Wednesday Happy Tails posts to answer the question I've gotten a lot of recently, "How'd it go?" Referring of course to the dreaded oral surgery/wisdom teeth removal last Friday.

Well, actually, it went horribly.

The brief rundown. I had a panic attack in the middle of the surgery. It was so bad I woke myself up. I panicked so bad that I was sobbing and hyperventilating. I couldn't breathe through my nose so I couldn't breath in the laughing gas to calm me down. They had to round up the extra nurses to restrain me. I remember part of the surgery. I remember seeing the doctor's face with the suture and screaming (probably more hoarsely hollering at that point) because I could feel the needle. The last thing I remember before waking up was the doctor hollering for someone to get him Ketamine. Then I remember fluffy brightly colored gummy bears. Literally. Then the doctor leaning over me and saying, "Sarah? Sarah? It was really rough, but we got them out."

Apparently my first words were "husband" and "baby".

I am grateful I never have to do this again. I am also grateful for large amounts of percocet and lortab.

Post Op Pictures:

{immediately after. not happy.}

{day two. just swelling and pain.}

{day three. swelling and beginning of the bruising}

{day four. the bruising continues to worsen. half way down my sternum}

The worst part of all of this is missing time with my daughter though. Since I am so drugged up her grandparents have been pitching in a lot for her care. I am immeasurably grateful to them. Still though, I miss my baby.

Thank you for all of your messages, emails, tweets asking how I am doing!!! It means so much to me! :)

November 8, 2011

Christmas Card Crazy

So every year since Chris and I have been married (that's a whopping two for those of you who are counting) we have sent out Christmas cards! The first year we ordered them from Walgreens last minute and I was all, "Meh. Not impressed". Last year we took an adorable bump picture in front of the tree and found a cute card that said something about "Visions of Our Little Sugarplum". It was the perfect card for us. I've been wondering almost ever since what our card would be this year. It seems silly but I want this card, the first as a family of three, to be absolutely perfect!

After much thought and consideration, I have narrowed it down to three choices! 

{all images courtesy of Tiny Prints}

I'm currently having fun mocking up the cards with our name and picture! I can't wait to send them out!

I found all of these cards at Tiny Prints and I've spent at least three hours perusing them. The best thing about this site? It has a little puffy heart at the bottom of each card that you can use to favorite cards. So after looking through a ton, I can easily access the ones I immediately liked! Plus the sort feature is great too since I only wanted to look at cards with one picture (not multiple).

Go check Tiny Prints and their amazing selection of Christmas and Holiday Cards so you can have as much fun as me!

*Tiny Prints is generously sending me free Christmas cards in exchange for this post. My opinions remain, as always, 100% mine and 100% honest*

*If you are a blogger and interested in this program please contact me*

November 5, 2011

Saturday's Top Five Laughs

Today I am linking up with Melissa from The Mommyhood Chronicles to list my top five laughs of the week! This week was kinda rough with Evie having double ear infections, an upper respiratory infection and sinus infection, and me having a dentist appointment and unexpectedly having to have my wisdom teeth removed yesterday. Regardless here are some of the things that made me smile this week! Also, please keep in mind this is a post sponsored by large quantities of percocet, so yeah, if it rambles a bit, please excuse me!

1) Evie is officially growing two teeth! And this is how she feels about it!

2) With my huge puffy cheeks I finally look like I am related to Evie!

3) Evie's new favorite thing is to watch you sing and clap. She's not real particular about the song so long as you are clapping along. She's not been feeling well this week so it makes me happy that there is something that makes her smile and laugh.

4) Percocet. *Drool* Tee hee EVERYTHING is funny!

5) I wrote this post on my recent troubles with anxiety and while the anxiety did not make me laugh, it did make me smile to realize how blessed I am to have a wonderful circle of blogging friends in addition to my family and friends IRL. Thank you for all your sweet emails, tweets and comments. Thank you for being my sounding board, just writing it out made me feel so much better and that made me smile.

Come join us and link up!


November 4, 2011

Y3W: Bye Bye Teeth!!!

Today's the day: (dun dun dun) The Dreaded Oral Surgery!!!

::insert high pitched horror movie-esque scream here::

Around 10:00 this morning, my wisdom teeth and I will part ways forever and ever.

Good riddance to bad rubbish. I am ready for this shizz to be over. I'll be sure to post a picture to twitter and here so you can all giggle at my puffy face.

I'll make no apologies for drugged up blogging either. Maybe you'll all have a good laugh outta me.

November 2, 2011

Truthfully, Honestly

Truthfully. Honestly, I've been struggling a lot with my anxiety this week. None of my self-management skills are really working and I've had to dip into my xanax twice. I hate to take those pills but sometimes I have to in order to avoid a complete meltdown on the highway on the way to pick up my daughter to take her to a doctor's appointment.

It started on Sunday. I took a leftover pain pill from my c-section for my teeth. As I was laying in bed watching Gilmore Girls like I always do at night, the pain began to fade and the fuzzy headed feeling began to take over. This time however, when the fuzzy headed feeling began to creep in, the anxiety came with it.

I don't know if the feeling of the pill triggered the memories of PPA or if it was knowing that I would have to call the dentist on Monday and that he would tell me I would have to have my wisdom teeth out, but ever since then I've been in a state of anxiety almost 99% of the time.

I'm having my wisdom teeth out first thing Friday morning. Yes, I know that it is completely irrational for a 28 year old to have a fear of the dentist, but I do, and it has always been a huge anxiety trigger for me. So going to the oral surgeon, this quickly and unexpectedly is probably throwing me for a loop. Couple this fear with a dramatic change in my routine and the intense separation anxiety I am already feeling just knowing that I won't see my kid for essentially three days and I have been a complete basket case. It is irrational, and I know that. The fear is not of the surgery itself. People keep telling me it's so easy, it'll be over so quick, it doesn't even hurt that bad, but none of that addresses the root of the anxiety. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, having my wisdom teeth out will be a cake walk compared to a forty-six hour labor that resulted in an emergency c-section. My child will be absolutely fine; she will be well cared for by her two adoring grandparents who raised me. They are thrilled to have her. Rationally, I know all this.

But see, that's the thing about anxiety, it is by its very nature, irrational. When I had PPD/A I could deal with the depression better than the anxiety. The depression I could step back from, separate myself and examine logically. The anxiety was the irrational part that I couldn't separate from. It took over my rational mind completely.

It's like that white hot adrenaline rush you feel when something triggers your fight or flight response, all the time. You stomach is constantly knotted in dread. Your limbs are robbed of their strength and feel heavy, numb, like they do after a hard work out. Your neck hurts from being constantly tense. If you are me, your hands are dry from constant washing and your left wrist is sore from where you tuck your thumb into your fist and rhythmically squeeze, hour after hour, all day long. Your right foot never stops jiggling. Left thumb squeeze. Right foot jiggle. Over and over. Ad nausem, et infinitum.

I've been back living in that world for three days now and I can only hope that after Friday when things return to normal, when the dreaded oral surgery is over and Sunday when my baby comes back that I'll get back to normal, that this anxiety that I normally manage so well on my own will disappear. I'm doing my deep breathing, my visualization and most importantly for me, I've been praying. Praying. Praying. Jesus, carry me.

I know I'll be fine. My faith is strong; my husband is too well attuned to my disorder to let me step over the line between barely hanging on and plummeting in the dark. Either way, I'll be fine. However short it may be, I am just not enjoying this season of my life.

{left thumb squeeze}

Wordless Wednesday: Happy Tails Edition 3.0

Since I felt like they were being neglected I decided to devote my latest Wordless Wednesdays to my furbabies! My first was about my sweet Maggie Mae and my second was about my cuddle bug boxers, Rocky Top and Princess Reily. This week I am dedicating my post to our youngest schnauzer, Peyton.

Meet: Peyton

Ah. Peyton. Where do I start about this little girl? She was born around 7:15 am on August 10, 2007. I was lucky enough to be there to watch her birth. It was so cool and special! I knew I was getting a puppy from that litter but when my friend (the owner of Peyton's dog momma) said, "Ok, A, we need a little black and white girl for Sarah!" and Peyton popped out, I knew she was the one for me. I brought her home at 5 weeks and 6 days old. I set her on the floor, she looked around, realized she had fallen into roses and started barking. She has not stopped since.

I saw this the other day and thought, "Hey! It's Peyton!"

Sweet Peyton. She really is crazy. Not in a bad way though. She is a quintessential schnauzer; she barks from the moment her paws hit the floor in the morning until the second her head hits the pillow at night. Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration, but not much! She loves to play with the other dogs and is convinced she is as big as a boxer.

Even with all of her hyperness and her GO GO GO nature sometimes she will settle in for a cuddle and kiss and just want to be held. She's nuts and disobedient, but I wouldn't trade her for the world because she brings us so much laughter and fun! I love you Pey Poos!