January 31, 2012

Release Expectations

There is lots of really great practical advice out there for new moms; some is annoying and some is true but no matter what as soon as that strip turns pink you'll be bombarded with it.

If there is one piece of advice I could give to anyone who is expecting or expecting to expect, it would be to let go of your expectations.

When Chris and I decided to "see what would happen" we surveyed several of our friends who either had kids or were pregnant. The consensus was that it would take approximately three to five months to conceive.

For those of you who didn't pay attention in Biology class here is a lesson. Sperm + egg = baby. We expected to have that time to prepare for being pregnant. Imagine our shock (and excitement of course) when four weeks later we were staring at two pink lines and two EPTs displaying pregnant.

No matter what though, let go of what you expect to happen from that moment on. If you are a first time mom or a fifth time mom this little person is just that, a person. Your baby is a person with likes, dislikes and quirks from the moment he or she is born, and actually if count food aversions and cravings, well before that. This baby will change, forever, the dynamic of your family in a way that you cannot know or predict until he or she arrives.

I was supposed to vaginally birth a baby that my OB assured me would be tiny. She was supposed to latch immediately and I would breastfeed as long as we wanted. She would be laid back and snuggly. Snort. A c section, visit to NICU and a loss of my milk later I had a chubby little newborn, who didn't really want to snuggle and was uptight and persnickity, just like her momma. She wasn't what I expected but she is the most amazing beautiful ten month old I know.

No matter if Mrs. Jones down the street had a baby that was born after an easy four hour labor, slept through the night at two weeks and breastfed so well that she could have been the neighborhood milk cow, your baby might not do that. You might end up with an emergency c section, your baby might not sleep through the night until six months or later and breastfeeding might prove challenging or even impossible.

Educate yourself and hope for the best, but realize it's not entirely up to you; it is up to the tiny person inside your body.

The one thing you should expect is that you will love this tiny little human beyond all reason and that no matter your journey being a mother is the best feeling ever.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I no doubt ended up where I intended to be. ~ Douglas Adams

Come link up with MamaG for Toddle Along Tuesday and share your advice for Mommas to be!