March 22, 2012

A Letter to Evie at One Year Old

Dear Evie,

My heart, my soul, the very breath I breathe, the blood in my veins, the beat of my heart you are one year old today.

I have no pretty words for you today sweetheart. Try as I might they clog in my throat, and my brain can't pin down what I want to say to you, of how to express this kind of love for a person. It is illogical, confusing, maddening, overwhelming, but still the very best feeling in the world. My heart can't make sense of it so I'm doing what I've done since the day love for you swamped me. I'm reveling in every moment without question because some things, and the love I have inside of me for you, the tiniest ruler of my heart, is one of those things, make no sense. The best we can do is just believe that they make life worthwhile and cherish the joy they bring.

I can't wait to see what kind of joy and adventures your one year olded-ness brings. I can't imagine that I will love you more than I do right now, but on this day last year I didn't think I could love you more than I did then, and I do.

Thank you for this year my love. Thank you for showing me that all along I was meant to be your mother. The pleasure has been all mine.

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me and
I have loved you for a thousand years,
I'll love you for a thousand more.

I love you,

*Lyrics courtesy of Christina Perri*