April 10, 2012

The Reality of It All

I know a lot of people enjoy watching shows like "16 and Pregnant" or "Teen Mom" or whatever they are called.

These shows about teen pregnancy have got me thinking about what they are doing to popularize teen pregnancy (you can say it's all fun and games, but you'll never change my mind about that). There was one in particular that was filmed in Memphis. A fifteen year old girl said something along the lines that she and her friends want to get pregnant because it looks like "so much fun" and you "get so much attention".

Now I am not bashing teen moms here. Sex at a young age before marriage is the reality of the world we live in and when sex happens, no matter how careful you are, babies can happen. I don't think that these women are morally reprehensible or anything like that. I have several good friends who were teen moms and have done really amazing things with their lives and children under some really hard circumstances.

What bothers me is the idea that kids are doing this because they don't grasp the reality of it all. 

With that in mind I have some stories about Evie that I would like to share with her when she's in her teens in case the passing thought of possibly getting pregnant on purpose crosses her mind.

Pregnancy is a lot of fun. There are great moments. Feeling you kick for the first time was amazing. Watching your Daddy feel you kick for the first time was even better. Seeing you on ultrasound, hearing your heart beat, fixing up your nursery that was so much fun. Pregnancy also has its not so fun aspects too. Prepare to leak from just about every bodily orifice. Hemorrhoids. Stretch marks. Night sweats. Mood swings. Hot flashes. Oh and have I mentioned nine and a half months of puking? Because there were nine and half months of puking, except when I took Zofran and then the puking was replaced with constipation.

The aftermath of pregnancy is a lot of fun too. Your lady parts might be sewn together like a rag doll. You might have had your stomach cut open and an itchy incision that feels like it's on FIRE. And all that lovely stuff that kept you safe in Mommy's belly is now leaking out, and that takes weeks. Your hormones are all raging too, qualifying you for the role of town lunatic. Did I mention that your hair will be falling out, in clumps.

Remember that time when you were four weeks old and we went swimming outside in your bath tub? I do. I didn't put a diaper on you and just let you wear your bathing suit. It was all fun and games until you grunted and pooed all in the water. With only one towel, no diapers, a poo covered baby sitting in a pool of poo water, it was a gross situation. I ended up covered in and smelling like poo water for several hours while I attended to your needs before attending to the fact that I smelled terrible.

Oh or what about that time that you screamed bloody murder for four hours straight because you couldn't poo and your stomach was cramping. We both cried for hours that day, kid. That was not fun.

I'll take a moment to mention the twelve weeks of sleep deprivation now. You don't realize how truly wonderful sleep is until you aren't getting any because you are getting out of bed three times a night to change those poopy diapers.

And while we are on that topic, getting out of bed three times a night hurt like hell because you wouldn't come out the normal way and Momma had to be sliced open. I hope this isn't your fate too, but keep in mind that most of the women in your family have had to go this route. And? You get to keep that six inch scar for the rest of your life. No more cute bikinis on the beach.

Or the time that I got all ready for work, picked you up and then realized we were both covered in poo? That's was quite a snafu darling.

I hope if the idea of being a teen mom crosses your mind, you stop, think twice and make the right decision.

Evie, being your mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me. All of the above, even the crippling post-partum depression and anxiety I would endure eighty times over to have you in my life. I love you more than any person ever in the history of the world, in a way that I have never felt before. But being a mother? It's as real as it gets, and it is hard work. From the moment that strip turns pink you have to grow up and grow up fast, because it's no longer about you. From that moment on every decision you make will be colored by the life you have created. And I want you to have longer than fifteen, eighteen or even twenty years before you really have to grow up like that.  Be little for a long time baby girl. There will be time for all of the rest when you are grown and your daddy isn't the only man you've ever really loved. I promise.