August 13, 2012

Am I Abnormal?

I hear so many people talk about they love the sweet squishy newborn baby phase. And I'm all like, "Oh yeah! Me too!" Which is really a big fat lie.
So here it is, the truth. I don't particularly care for the newborn phase.
The thought of the incessant crying, up all night, hobbling around with a healing incision, too much percocet taking, hormonal hot flashing, constant diaper changing, breast pump beeping, blood oozing new born phase is enough to make me want to hide in a dark closet, with my hands covering my face, and whimper.
There is a part of me that hates to admit that, but the first twelve weeks of Evie's life were just awful. Looking back all I can remember is the struggle. Which is something I know I am going to have to get past if we ever want to try to have another baby.
But right now, with this giggling, exploring, running, climbing toddler I feel like I've finally found who I am as a mother. It seems like Evie and I are just flourishing more and more in this phase. Neither one of us likes to be still so the chasing, tossing, block building, coloring, constantly on the go thing is just! There are days when I look around at my husband and this sticky, messy, amazing toddler we somehow made together, and I am just overwhelmed with gratefulness.
Can I just give birth to a toddler? Because I love being a toddlermom.
{Toddlers wear purple receiving blankets like super hero capes with cow print diapers and wave to their adoring fans. I love this so much.}
So what about you? Do you love the new born phase or are you more like me, a fan of the toddler phase? Somebody please make me feel less like a freak!!!
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