January 14, 2013

You're Doing Good {A Letter of Encouragement}

I have a friend, who is also a mother, who has children who are in different life stages than mine. Recently, she found that one of her children made a life choice that she didn't agree with. In fact, it was a choice that my friend has specifically raised her kids to avoid. She's taught them the morals and values that she thinks are important. This life choice goes against these morals and values that she has taught. My friend is quite simply devastated. Her mother is coming to visit soon and she just looked at me and said, "What am I going to tell my mom? She'll yell and nag and criticize.". I simply replied, "Don't. Don't tell your mom. It's not her business. And hey "friend", this doesn't constitute a failure as a mother on your part. Kids makes mistakes. They do stupid stuff". I knew what was on her heart, because I, too, am a mother. She just looked at me, tears welling over, and said "It does. It does make me a failure".

There's only so much to say in a situation like that, but just like her child who made this choice, with a little encouragement along the way, my friend is just going to have to find her way out of this feeling of failure and guilt.

If you are feeling a little mom guilty today, like a mom failure or even having one of those "totally on top of the motherhood game" days, I want you remember something: You're Doing Good.

If you've got a teenager, or a toddler, pushing limits and you feel at your wits end, you're doing good.  If you've got a child who hasn't learned how to express himself verbally and hits and bites instead, you're doing good.

If you're a new mom running on four cups of coffee and two hours of sleep, who just wants an hour, or hell, ten minutes to yourself, you're doing good.

If you find yourself looking around at other's lives whether in real life or blogs and feel like you are coming up short, let go of that, you're doing good.

If others are telling you your parenting is wrong because it doesn't agree with what they do, ignore them, you're doing good.

If your kid won't eat anything but corn dogs, yogurt and bananas and you feed him when he's hungry, you're doing good.

If you are questioning every single step you take on this crazy journey of mother hood, I've got your answer, if you're doing the best you can, you're doing good.

If you unquestioningly love your child no matter what, if you show your child that your love is faithful and strong in all life circumstances, you're doing better than good, mom, you're doing great.
I want you all to remember that today, and if you would, tell another mother that she's doing good. She might need to hear it more than you know.

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