Saturday after Chris left to go to the gym Evie and I ventured outside to soak up some vitamin D and enjoy the fading Spring sunlight with a tub of sidewalk chalk and bubbles. After a brief nature walk down the sidewalk and through the front yard to look at leaves, sticks and rocks I asked Evie if she wanted to go color and blow bubbles.
As of late I've been obsessed with my DSLR taking every opportunity to practice and document Evie's toddlerhood. I figured this would be a great time to practice outdoor shooting in the golden hour.
Instead Evie looked at me with her blue eyes wide and asked, "Momma lap?"
"Yes baby. Momma lap", and I patted my legs. She walked over sat down and leaned her back against my chest to happily blow bubbles. I gently set the camera down and instead of clicking away leaned in to bury my nose in her blond curls and breathed in a combination of the fading scent of Johnson's baby shampoo, little kid, the strawberry milk her Daddy gave her earlier and the smell that is unique only to her, the one I recognized the first time I held her in my arms. Once again I thought, oh my heart, and felt the peculiar combination of utter joy and bittersweet that is the hallmark of motherhood.
The realization that capturing the golden hours of our lives through living them instead of photographing them came to me swiftly and I left the Nikon on the ground and instead concentrated on the smell of Evie's hair, the warmth of her back, the smoothness of her skin and the sparkle in her smile. I couldn't resist grabbing my phone for a quick snap shot of the moment, but didn't press it further realizing that no photo, no color representation and no picture in frame could be as perfect as that moment right then.
It may have only lasted twenty minutes before Evie was up running back to the yard yelling "Sticks! Leaves! Rocks!", but it was truly a golden hour, and the smell of Johnson's, little kid, strawberry milk lingered long after my darling girl was off to dream dreams.
I still love you beyond words or measure my baby bug, and my heart is still full from you.