April 16, 2013

Is She Hearing Me?

Every day, at least once a day, I talk to my daughter I would talk to another adult.
The topics of conversation vary somewhat, ranging from scientific topics like weather or nature to my thoughts on baking or cooking like how to reduce a sauce. Invariably though, I find myself talking to her about her self worth in an effort to combat a world that is already telling her that her looks determine her value.
It's a weighty conversation to have with your two year old. Maybe. I'd posit however that it's probably the most important one I have with her on a weekly, if not biweekly, basis and that all mothers of girls should be having similar conversations with their girls.
I find myself starting off with the question, "Evie are you a smart girl?" After she nods her head I always reply that, "Yes! You are such a smart girl." Then we talk about how beautiful she is on the inside. I tell her how much value she has as person and how much her father and I value that. I tell her she has such a kind heart, that it's loving, and we talk about the importance of being gentle with other people and their hearts. We talk about the importance of compassion and being a cheerful helper.  We talk about the signifigance and consequences of her actions. Then I ask her another question, "Evie, are you such a pretty girl?" After she nods her head in agreement I tell her that she has the most beatiful eyes I've ever seen, how gorgeous her blonde curls are and how bright her smile is. Then I tell her she is never to let anyone devalue just how wonderful she is inside and out.
She smiles at me and sometimes I wonder, if it matters. I wonder if having these conversations early and often with my daughter will make a difference. I sometimes wonder if my darling two year old daughter who loves dinosaurs, bubbles, sunshine and her puppy dogs is even hearing me.
I have to believe she is though.